Sunday, May 25, 2014

Sunday Confessions: Friendship

Sunday Confessions: Friendship

 I can't say I have a lot of close friends, because I do not. I'm a private person and prefer to keep my circle small. But I do have a few. 

 I have my little sister, my boyfriend and my mom. As most of you know that read my last blog post, my mother is dying. 

 I guess I still can't wrap my mind around it. I can't understand her decision to not seek help and at least try to save her life. As much as I want her to live, it will not make her do so. 

Her friendship means so much to me. I literally talked to her every single day. I say "talked" because since we found out about her illness, she has nearly stopped all communication with me and my sister. I guess she got tired of hearing us beg and plead with her to get help. 

 I'm not one of those people that suddenly cares about someone once they find out their dying and then claim that the said person was their "best friend". 

 My mom truly is. She listened to every complaint I had, allowed me to vent, and I did the same for her. 

 My mornings would start with a good morning text from my mom and then followed up with an hour long phone call soon after. I told her I love her every day and she told me. 

 I'm not sure what I will do once she's gone. And it crushes me every time I think about it. It's like a horrible, painful waiting game and it's killing me. I wonder every day if it will be her last. I stay in a near panic, dreading the news that I know will surely come. 

The loss of her constant friendship will devastate me. I don't know what I will do without it. I honestly don't. 

Her love and friendship has made me into the woman I am today. It has taught me to cherish every second you do have with your friends and family.

 Don't waste a second of your time. Make it all count. 



  1. Hugs and love, Sweetie. Really. I hope that you'll resume your morning texts and chats because I'm sure right now the normalcy would be comforting to her. Keep trying. I know her decision is unimaginable and harder than I can imagine, but the most important thing is that she knows everything you said here. Every word. I know that the coming months aren't going to be the most wonderful, I also know that every moment you're able to share with her and being given the time to tell her what she means to you is precious in it's own way. I will be thinking of you and your family.

  2. Light and love your way.

    It sucks you and your family are going through this. I wish there was a more graceful way to say that but there is no sugarcoating that the situation sucks.

    You are so right we need to cherish each moment we have with our loved ones.

    Don't give up, keep reaching out to her even if it's just to tell her you love her, we can never say that too much.

  3. Having watched my mom fight a long battle with cancer and suffering so much, I wish that she had not fought and suffered like she did. She was bedridden for the last 3 months of her life, in a coma for the last month. My brother and I were holding her hands when she died and it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I miss her every day. Enjoy whatever time you have with your mom and please let her make her own decisions about treatment. Hang in there.