Saturday, October 18, 2014

My Beef With Boobs

Boobs are pretty awesome, aren't they? They can nourish your baby, and most people enjoy looking at some plumpy cleavage. 

Here's my only issue with boobs. 

They are over sexualized. People get all fired up if a mother Breastfeeds in public, but don't blink an eye if a woman shows her breasts in a sexual way. 

Sure, it's ok to wear a small piece of cloth over your boobs at the beach, but don't you dare move that cloth aside to feed your baby. How dare you use your breasts the way you want to?! Don't you know you are supposed to use them the way society says?! 

You will make a lot of people extremely uncomfortable if you dare nourish your child in front of them. 

Why is that? Why do people get so offended seeing a baby eat? I can't comprehend it. 

I'm not raising my daughter to view breasts as something to flaunt. Their size doesn't equal how attractive you are. Their size doesn't add or take away from your self worth. That's what I want her to grow up understanding. 

Here, is our home, breasts are nourishment. It was where her milk came from. They are not objects to be obsessed with. I want her to value her brain and heart more than her breasts when she grows up. 

Sunday, October 5, 2014

She's a Runner


( Anyone get that Billy Squier reference in the title? If so, can we be friends?) 

  Today I'm linking up with More than Cheese and Beer. Our word prompt is "run". 

  Oh boy. Actually running is not a concept I'm familiar with. I nearly had to google it to get the exact definition. 

  I do have a general idea of "running". And I don't like it. I don't "run". If you ever do see me running, just go on and start running yourself. Because some bad shit is about to happen. 

  I prefer to move at a much slower pace. Maybe even a crawl, if you will. Even my toddler can outrun me. 

  Nearly every time I take her outside to play, I hear the dreaded words, "Mommy, let's race!" 

  Gah. No. How about we don't race and just sit here and stare at cars passing instead. We can ponder on the meaning of life. How's that sound instead, little girl? 

  But I don't say that. Instead I get up and prepare myself to be humiliated. If you can try for a minute to imagine this..

  She leans over and prepares herself in the correct way to run. (Stripper ran track for many years and has passed his infinite knowledge on to her) 

  She starts to count down. 

 On your mark...get set...GO!! 

  Me, well I'm still standing there dreading it. She takes off in a blast while I grip my boobs the best I can and limp along. Did I mention I don't run? I think I did. 

  She beats me in an instant. She is already on her way back by the time I have taken two steps. And guess what? Those two steps made me tired, dammit. 

  I hate running. That is all. 

Thursday, October 2, 2014

I Am The Poet

 I'm someone who is all too familiar with depression. Unfortunately, I have suffered from it since I was merely a teenager. Most people brushed it off as typical "teenage hormones" until I first attempted to take my life at age 14. Might I say, I was even more depressed when I woke up from my overdose in the hospital and realized that I was, in fact,  still living. 

 Medication never worked for me. Therapy did help some. What I found that helped me the most was writing. Specifically, writing poetry. 

  Poetry was my drug. It kept me up at night. It invaded my mind during the day. It nagged me until I listened. And I always listened. 

 Most people can tell when depression is creeping upon them. I can too. A sure sign for me is when I'm unable to write a poem. 

  You have to understand. Poetry is literally who I am. Like most addicts, it took over my life. I had no control anymore. Feelings and emotions poured out onto paper. And I felt free. I felt a huge weight lifted off me. When I write, I feel myself healing. 

When I'm unable to write, when it seems I have to force a poem out of me, it scares me. It scares me because the only time that happens is when I'm depressed. 

 It's like depression takes my voice away. It takes my freedom away. It takes my poetry right from me. 

I am the face of depression. I am the voice of depression. 

I am the poet.