I Am The Poet

 I'm someone who is all too familiar with depression. Unfortunately, I have suffered from it since I was merely a teenager. Most people brushed it off as typical "teenage hormones" until I first attempted to take my life at age 14. Might I say, I was even more depressed when I woke up from my overdose in the hospital and realized that I was, in fact,  still living. 

 Medication never worked for me. Therapy did help some. What I found that helped me the most was writing. Specifically, writing poetry. 

  Poetry was my drug. It kept me up at night. It invaded my mind during the day. It nagged me until I listened. And I always listened. 

 Most people can tell when depression is creeping upon them. I can too. A sure sign for me is when I'm unable to write a poem. 

  You have to understand. Poetry is literally who I am. Like most addicts, it took over my life. I had no control anymore. Feelings and emotions poured out onto paper. And I felt free. I felt a huge weight lifted off me. When I write, I feel myself healing. 

When I'm unable to write, when it seems I have to force a poem out of me, it scares me. It scares me because the only time that happens is when I'm depressed. 

 It's like depression takes my voice away. It takes my freedom away. It takes my poetry right from me. 

I am the face of depression. I am the voice of depression. 

I am the poet.