Today I'm linking up with More than Cheese and Beer for Sunday Confessions. Our word prompt is "denial".
I will go on and admit, I am in denial. In denial that I'm getting old. Here's a perfect example. AirBear asked me to hop with her.
AirBear: Let's hop like a bunny!
Me: Ok! I like being bunnies!
She hops on ahead of me and in my excitement, I forgot I'm nearly 40.
On the first hop, my head pounded. I fought on and ignored it like a trooper. On the second hop, my boobs nearly knocked me out. I could've been killed right then! So, I decided to just ignore the pounding brain and hold my boobs. Hopping we went!
On the third hop, I broke my liver. Yes, I said liver. Can a liver be broken, you ask? Nope. But I'm pretty sure mine broke.
I suffered through the agony of my broken, and surely, bleeding liver. I hopped on! AirBear was in front of me, laughing with joy!
"This is fun, mommy!", she said through her laughter.
"Oh yes..fun", I agreed through my tears.
After eight hops, I was ready for someone to call 911. My legs were creaking, my back ached, my liver was dying.
I'm not ready to get old. My heart still tells me I'm 18. But my body bitch slaps my heart and tells it to shut the hell up before it gets me killed.
Who knows what I would do next! I would probably be trying to do a cartwheel. Imagine the horror. I'd break my entire body then.
In three years, I will be turning 40 years old. I'm totally expecting to just fall apart right then and there.
Do they make WD-40 for old folks bones? Cause I need some. 
Sounds like your bladder held though... so that's a positive sign!
ReplyDeleteYou know... I thought I was being funny, then I went to clip my toenails and needed my glasses to do it. *le sigh*
ReplyDeleteAirbear appreciates your playing and you sacrificing your liver for her fond memories :-)
ReplyDeleteLet's hope the WD40 works...
Oh my as I read this I was giggling. Not at you, but at the feelings you were experiencing. I too have been there as I'm an older Mom and I have 2 young rambunctious boys. Let's play hockey Mom, was my oldest requests this weekend. So air hockey it was for 2 hours straight sitting on the floor. At 41 I felt the pain and humiliation of that decision when I got out of bed the next morning. Great blog, thanks for the giggles. ��
ReplyDeleteThanks for the giggle. I certainly needed it.
ReplyDeleteIn some ways I feel older than the thirty-one I am turning. My body aches, cracks and pops. There's this horrid groan that escapes me when I am having trouble with my back. I don't blame my monster; but I do the sadistic anesthesiologist that stabbed me FOUR times in the back for my epidural. Hearing the grinding of a needle, inserted in your spine, echoing in your skull is nauseating even five years later. I neither wish that nor the pain of back labor on any woman.
You love your beautiful baby girl beyond your pain and that's awesome. Just keep being the terrific Trekkie you are. I love your brain. Keep it comin'.
- Barb
Bwhahaha! Last summer the hubs actually DID try and re-live his youth by doing a cartwheel. It was BEYOND HILARIOUS! He made an ANNOUNCEMENT first and so EVERYONE in my whole family was watching as he back-planted in the middle of my parents yard. Ouch! Bruised his backside AND his ego! LOL
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up on #BlogDiggity today! <3